How does RCB counter the threat of Lasith Malinga ?

I was about to begin my fitness routine of bending elbows when the RCB batting unit came into my room, followed by a rather upset looking Jay Rennings. He looked very concerned.

I wondered if there were some security issues all over once again.

I greeted them: “Hello guys! Nice surprise seeing you all here. What’s the matter, anyways?”

Before any of them could answer, Jay thundered at them. “Look guys. I know what is best. Who is this joker here?” he said pointing at me. “And what can he do to help you face Malinga?”

The RCB unit looked at me intently.

I dramatically threw my arms in the air for impact. “Look guys, I am not into abducting people, holding them hostage and stuff like that.”

Dilly spoke first: “Noo, noo! We just came for some ideas on how to handle Malinga?”

“Oh, I see. Can I get a season pass for all RCB games?” I decided to ride my luck and see where it took me.

“Of cooooooooourse!” the entire batting unit went in chorus, much like school children wishing ‘Good morning Ma’aaaaam’!

Jay was fuming now: “Look fellas, I’m the coach, and I will tell you’ll how to play.”

“Boss, you can tell how to play, but you are not the one out there to play him!” piped in Kirat Vohli, rather sarcastically but matter of factly. He looked genuinely worried.

Jay Rennings was seething. “I AM OUT OF HERE!” he said and stomped as the RCB unit gleefully clapped their hands like a bunch of school kids who were told that the moral science class had been called off.“YAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” they screamed and exchanged high-fives!

As they looked at me, I went on the offensive. “So guys, when can I get the tickets? Season passes, ok?”

“Sure, sure but tell us what we need to do to ensure that we don’t lose our wickets to Malinga,” piped in Van Dettori.

“Errrrrr… you can get out to the bowler on the other end!”

ve Dilliers looked very irritated and had his fist rolled into a ball, “Look, we are serious. We are not here for jokes. We are here to get a solution.” And for impact, he pulled out a few tickets with his other hand and started fanning himself.

“Well guys, the solution is simple,” I said. “Did you see Malinga at the post-match interview?”

Some heads shook vertically, some horizontally.

“Look, Malinga practices with a shoe placed at the crease. Do you know that?”

Every head shook in acknowledgement. “We have been seeing his videos for the last 48 hours but are clueless how to handle him!” cried Taurabh Siwary!

“Solution is simple guys!! Malinga simply zones in on the shoes!!!

When your turn comes to face Malinga, simply face him without your shoes! Go barefoot to bat against him. That will confuse the heck out of him and make him clueless where to bowl!!!

A wave of happy screams rented the air, as the RCB batting unit jumped in joy.

“And guys, if you want to make it even better, carry your shoes and place them outside the off stump, and then hammer the full length balls outside the park!!”